Updated: Jan 15
Women have been suffering from misconducts such as abuse, harassment, domestic violence, rape, cheating, murder etc. permeated by men and all which stemmed from their upbringing and misconception of women. So how do we change that or make sure that this wave of toxic situation isn’t passed down to our children? By teaching our sons about women! A lot of men grow up with a lot of misconceptions about women which has led to unhealthy and toxic relationships and it has been recurring over time and who better to teach a son about women if not the mother?
We have compiled a list of things that can help you teach your son about women.
1. Respect Women
Tell him that women are just as human as he is, they deserve his respect as much he commands his. Like every human, women have a mind of their own, likes and dislikes and most importantly, he shouldn’t look down on them and always be considerate, he shouldn’t see women as below him but as equals. Teach him that the foundation on which successful relationships are built on is respect for the other party. Besides how does he intend to truly love someone without respecting them?
2. Accept Women as they are
Every human being has different individualistic traits, no one is the same as the other, teach him to accept that and try not to impose an ideal on a woman or try to change her because at the end she would only pretend and also most importantly, do not compare one woman to another.
3. The Value of Consent
In a society constantly encroaching on the rights of women, women value consent the most, it is their most basic human right, their right to yes and no, their right to give out permission, their of agreement. Teach him to not be forceful and respect their wishes, every woman has a right to say yes or no, whether during intercourse or trying to court her. Tell him that it is their right as much as it is everyone’s right to breathe air.
Tell him that women have as much right as him to pleasure and be pleasured, tell him to be generous and less self-centered and to also be intuitive to his partner’s needs as much as she is to his. Tell him not to be distant after sex, tell him to express his feelings frequently and cuddle more. Teach him to value his partner and never to make the mistake of cheating, tell him the greatest sin he could commit against a lover is cheating on them, teach him the consequences of cheating and its effects on intimacy.
5. A Woman is not a Sexual Object
One of the major toxic traits recurring in the society for decades is that men always tend to view women as sexual objects to be obtained for their sexual gratification which results to women being continuously objectified in the society. Teach him that a woman is more than just her physical appearance and her body need not to be sexualized except when needed to, tell him that a woman’s body is hers and not his to be coveted except when giving permission to, tell him that a woman’s body is not to be disrespected.
6. Never result to Violence or any form of Abuse
Tell him not to result to violence when angry, teach him to control his anger, make him understand there’s a natural difference in strength of both genders, teach him the consequences of his actions if it should happen, teach him the psychological impact of violence on both of them, tell him that women always exaggerate when angry and never act on whatever they say especially when provoked, teach him how to walk away from abusive situations that might push him to violence. Tell him that sometimes romantic feelings for someone turns sour when provoked but it doesn’t change when all is settled, tell him never to act out in anger when dealing with a lover so as not to regret it afterwards.
7. Appreciate all Women
Tell him that all women are beautiful, in any shape, size or skin color, they are beautiful and wonders of creation, teach him not to be idealistic and create fantasies of what a beautiful woman should look like and appreciate all women as they are because they are all beautiful, teach him to appreciate an intelligent woman instead of hating on her or feel insecure by her, teach him to appreciate a woman who happens to be stronger than him instead of criticizing her or bullying her for not conforming to a certain ideal, teach him to appreciate a woman’s physical appearance as well as her talents and smarts. Tell him to perceive women as only pretty or compliment them solely on her looks but also her personality too.
8. Domestic Chores
Tell him that a woman doing his domestic chores is not his entitlement but a privilege and he should always show appreciation and say thank you once in a while, teach him how to do his chores because it’s his responsibility and that way he would value it when someone does it for him. Make him participate in general house chores too, so that he can learn to be selfless as part of his responsibility to other people around him and also he would get used to it and don’t shy away from chores as he grows older.
9. Confide in Women
A lot of men tend to use the excuse that women are too emotional and weak hearted and tend to deprive them their right to make their own decisions or be part of the process of decision making, this occurs both in a relationship/marriage and in the workplace, teach him no to make such mistake, tell him that women, by nature, have a nurturing and empathic spirit and he should always feel comfortable with them and confide in them as much as possible, he shouldn’t feel the need to do everything and decide everything in his relationship, he should always carry his partner along and involve her as much as possible and also not to take a woman’s word lightly just as he won’t take a man’s lightly.
10. Never Underestimate a Woman
Tell him that in no circumstances that should he underestimate a woman, just like every human, a woman is capable of both good and evil just as much as a man, if not more, teach him not to view all women as weak and fragile, they are also capable of being cunning and conniving, he should be careful of whom he chooses to be his partner.
11. Embrace Feminism
Teach him not to resent or be afraid of feminism but to embrace it, create an environment that is open to feminist ideals so that he can grow up comfortable with it and if he is already grown, tell him of its history, recommend books to him, teach him to be comfortable with the movement, teach him of its benefits to him and the society and most importantly to women. Advise him to hang out with feminists, to date feminists and to be a feminist.
12. Protect Women
The world is filled with predators who prey on defenseless women, teach him to protect women whenever he can, tell him about
disadvantaged women are in the society, advise him to help protect them from both rapists and bullies, the society constantly creates situation in which most women are scared of speaking out in fear that no one would believe them or take their side, make him understand that as a man that the society favors him more, that he should extend that favor to women, protect them with that same entitlement that the society has given him and try to share it with his female counterparts in whatever setting he finds himself in.
we hope this post has made your job somewhat easier, good luck!