Single Never Searching

how can a man see me finish

he meets me somewhere, at the mall shopping

at my job doing my work jeje

ah u be fine girl ooo

I like the way you carry yourself

you work so hard you must be educated

I spend money and time to dress myself

I take my time to carry my self well

can I please have your contact

I would like to get to know you some more

he seems likable enough tall dark and handsome

at least physically that's definitely my type

not even checking for his pockets yet

then we start to talk on the phone

the first day goes second day goes third day

a week or two we are going on a first date

I have gotten to know him and there seems to be chemistry

seeing him the second time

he looks even more handsome than the first

damn nigga, you can get it

then he's like I like you so much but there is something I want you to know

I am married but I really like you a lot

I have never done this before but I could not just pass up the opportunity to be with you

if you will have me I really want to be with you

I could have lied but we are both mature and I just wanted to be honest with you

at that moment I don't even know if my mind explodes or if my heart crashes

but there is this feeling that makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs but nothing comes out

it's like all my insides are confused my emotions my tongue my brain like am I sad mad or disappointed or do I just want to punch this fool in the face

I asked this question just two days ago when the same shit happened in the church

a married man takes my number me thinking it's of some innocent shit

then asks me to meet him at red roof inn what the fuck???

like what the fuck have I done to deserve this?

do I have too many piercings? do I smile too much?

do I have desperately written on my forehead please wipe it off

me here keeping myself the best I can

I'm pretty I bathe every day I work hard I don't expect anything from anyone

yet this grown-ass man who probably has daughters at home

he wants them to find good men but believes that's the best I deserve leftovers

not even leftovers but trash fuckin vomit the scum of the earth

like why do u think I don't deserve to find my own husband

you have to think if I'm busy fucking you

I definitely will not be out where I can meet the right person

to all you niggas I just want to say fuck you because you tried it.

you tried to make me think I ent worth shit but I know who I am

I might be single but I am not searching I am who I am

I love who I am and I will continue to love me

with or without someone to kiss and cuddle at night