Relationships take a lot of work and most times, you both end up breaking up. If it turns out the breakups are one-sided, that is, they are always breaking up with you, then it's time to start asking yourself "am I the problem?"
You might not necessarily be a bad person but some of your habits are so unhealthy that it will make you come out as unfit for a relationship. By now you are probably wondering what unhealthy relationships habits you might have? Well, we've compiled a list so pick your poison.
"Clinginess, or being overly needy, is one of the greatest relationship killers that nobody really pays attention to until it’s too late. This could entail calling your partner numerous times a day for no other reason other than to ask where they are. Not being able to make simple decisions without first asking your partner is another sign of being too needy. People need to have some space, and by taking away that space you are creating a toxic environment that generally pushes people away."
Wise words from the dating expert, Noah Van Hochman and like it states, a lot of people think calling their partners continuously make them closer but it doesn't, it does the opposite; push them away.
Your Communication skills suck.
Some people appear to be cold but that's because they don't talk much and don't respond much either. Sure that might be your personality but in a relationship, it's toxic. Not actively communicating with your partner can come across as cold and somewhat rude, for instance, your partner makes a comment about the weather, their day at work or what's on TV and you don't respond. Maybe you're looking at your phone. Maybe you're zoning out. Maybe you just don't really have anything to say. When you do this, potential conversation and communication opportunities are stifled. Imagine a relationship where couples can't even hold a simple conversation for long, tragic! If that used to be or is your relationship, and it's your habit to be uncommunicative then you need to do better, try to be actively present with your partner, indulge them.
Nobody likes a snob, especially when they are dating one. How? You ask? It's how you talk to them and talk about them to others, you always present yourself like you're better than them. For instance, your partner is unemployed, therefore, you treat them like they are defective, you always drag their unemployment into everything; you introduce them to your friends as an inferior compared to you "hey this is…., my girlfriend/boyfriend, she/he is trying to be a singer, currently unemployed but we are hoping," okay, that's bad!
All of that info wasn't needed, sure you have a job and your life seems stable, you don't need to drag your partner. Some of you go as far as to say, it's our thing, no hard feelings, it's just our inside joke. My advice, don't… you're just being an asshole.
You transfer your aggression
This method is as old as time, you are angry at someone or about something but you can't lash out at them, so you transfer the anger onto the nearest person trying to care for you! Even if it makes you feel better at the moment, what of the other person? Don't they have feelings too?? A lot of you do this to your partners when they ask about things that have got you upset, you turn on them and load off all your frustrations on them.
All you are doing is needlessly hurting your partner and pushing them away from you.
You complain a lot
There's nothing wrong with complaining about an unpleasant experience to your partner but let it not be all you talk about. For some people, every waking moment is spent complaining or nagging about something or the other.
We get it, let it go and move on or they move on to another relationship without you.
You never apologize
When you mess up, apologize! No one is above it and no one is below receiving one. Never apologizing when you are wrong hurts the other person and rubs on them the wrong way, especially if you don't mean anything by it. Apologies are also a way of expressing how you feel for that person, so express yourself more, let them know how sorry you are, it means a lot.
You're the Headmaster or Headmistress of jumping to conclusions
If jumping to conclusions was a school, you head it, if it was a company, you're the CEO. Jumping to conclusions often with your partner – whether or not you give them the chance to explain - only means you don't trust them and no one likes being suspected of everything thing they do. They eventually start to walk on eggshells around you and once that happens, sweetheart, you're definitely breaking up or they will eventually cheat on you! Who wouldn’t prefer someone else that makes them feel like kings or queens?
You're a narcissist
Many people call themselves narcissists, even going as far as hashtagging and captioning it in their pictures and profiles, well, that’s just foolish. Being a narcissist is not a good thing – contrary to ‘trending’ memes - it's toxic and it pushes people away; good people.
As a narcissist, you are not only a snob, you overlook and take your partner for granted. Your relationship is not just about you, it's about the two of you, don’t be that person that always interrupts their partner because you don't think they have any good thing to say, you pretend they don't exist when you're having an argument or fight, or you're overly critical about everything they do… well that my friend, is a recipe for a break-up.
It's a new year and we are still in the month of January, if you have got more than 3 of these unhealthy habits, then you need to make a drastic change to save your relationship. You've got 11 months, Do better this year.